7 Reasons Why We Can't Be Friends

4:14 PM 0 Comments

Photo Credit: @Texasbubba

If the title didn't make it obvious enough, this post is a follow up to my previous post, Why Can't We Be Friends?

If you know me or have heard my friendless rant, you know I have very few friends. The friends that I do have all share something in common with me like they are married, they are insanely busy with work/school, or they are married to me.

I cannot count the number of people who get upset with me because I'm not their "friend." Seriously. Why you'd want to be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with you is beyond me.

Lest you think I'm a complete jerk without rhyme or reason, hear me out on this. If you've read my post, One Hundred And Ten, you know I like to give my all to each and every task. On the days I drink water, I drink it by the gallon jug. I never show up with just half a face of makeup. When I compete in FitBit challenges, I'm in it to win it. That's just who I am. I'm the same way with friendships. If you're my friend, you know way too much about my personal life. You're going to be badgered if you're sad. You're going to be forced to be chauffeured in the silver bullet (the unoffical name for my hatchback). I like to give friendships my all.

That being said...

My all isn't very good. I am actually a terrible friend. (So why do you want to be my friend again?) Below are just some of the reasons, I'm not going to be the cliché movie friend.

1. I'm not a timely communicator.
There are days that go by where I will not text anyone. I won't even text people back. (At the time I'm writing this, I have not contacted any one of my friends in two days.) People get SUPER upset about this. #sorrynotsorry , this is just who I am. Some people are serial killers. I don't text back. My friends know this, and know I'm not dead, I'm just going through a phase where I don't mince words. At the end of my word hiatus, we are all still friends. They're good like that.

2. I am busy.
Super busy. I work 40 hours a week, and somehow that bleeds into evening and weekends. I'm also an introvert, so interacting with people takes it out of me. So you might see I'm binge watching Netflix shows, and get mad. I'm actually using this alone time to recharge so I don't turn into a homicidal maniac at the grocery store I'm more pleasant around everyone. My friends realize how needy I am, and they're pretty chill about it.

3. I'm married.
I feel this goes without saying, but sometimes I need to spend some time with my man. Just because we work with each other doesn't mean I'm spending every minute with him. (We do actually have different job titles and separate offices.) No offense, but I like him better than you. I put a ring on it. All of my friends are married or in serious relationships. Coincidence? I think not.

4. I don't like people.
Yeah, I'm starting to see I don't have such a winning personality haha. All of my friends started off by being friends by necessity. M is my husband, H & K were my friends when my parents changed churches when I was very young, and H was my work friend who kept me from making questionable life decisions. If circumstances were different, I'm not sure any one of us would've been friends. M and I used to say if we went to (public) high school together we wouldn't have been friends at all.

So after all that luggage, you still find yourself confused as to why we aren't having sleepovers, below are some follow up reasons as to why we aren't friends:

1. Age
When people are trying to accomplish something, I never discriminate age. I remember what it was like to be 14 and no one would give me a chance to do anything. Young souls have done incredible things. I have to admit that I am friends with a lot of people old enough to be my mother. However, at 22, I'm at a different place in my life then 14, 15, or 16 year old me. So if you want to grab ice cream, I'll drive us there. But if you want to be bosom buddies, it's not going to work. While you're worried about whether or not so-and-so is ever going to ask you out, I'm imaging myself being buried alive.

2. Family Ties
If you know me, you know I don't understand the concept of "family." My mother says it's a "Moseley thing." Whatever. I'm also extremely independent, and don't need my mother to make every decision for me. If you can't think independently  from any of your family members, we're going to have problems. If you think you're family is always right no matter what, and never question any of their actions, we can't be friends. My friends know I silently judge them for being attached to their family even though we're all in our twenties. They're forgiving like that.

3. Mean
"But, Jessie, you're mean!" Yes, yes I am. I also know there are lines that shouldn't be crossed. If you have ever asked M to do something completely ridiculous that would be extremely out of his way, and he complies, and then you complain about it later to others, we aren't friends. If you trash talk M's family, or the church, we aren't friends. Period.

Let's agree to be close acquaintances, yes?

Stay classy,


Jessica Wynn

Thanks for reading! If you liked this post, you're welcome to share it on social media, or email it to your mom. Make sure you tell your cats about me! :)

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