22 Facts About Me (Birthday Post)

10:15 PM , 0 Comments

Photo: Jessica Diamond
This week I turn the big 22. Let the quarter life crisis continue...

Most of my readers and Facebook friends only know me by the content I post. I'm not one to over share my true feelings online, and when I post "embarrassing" things I do, it's only to make others laugh.

I've had my blog and Facebook for 7 years now. (Oh, 14 year old me.) I figured it was time that some of you got to know some (not so) interesting facts about me. Because what better time to post a completely narcissistic blog post than your Birthday? :)

I've categorized these facts into three categories; One, Two, and Three.

One

1. I'm super unpopular in my home town for these reasons: a.) I don't like sweet tea, b.) I despise camouflage, c.) I truly believe country music needs to die already.

2. I really really really really really really like chicken livers.

3. I occasionally get in these moods where I won't wash my hair more than twice a week. Even though I wash the rest of me up to twice a day. What is my life?

4. This country's obsession with french culture is beyond me. My heart belongs to the U.S. of A., and I take daily baths.

5. I recently told a Bed Bath & Beyond manager I was a "roll with it" Christian, meaning I don't belong to any denomination. It's for this reason I keep my hair short. (Excluding when I grow it out for Locks of Love.) I don't want anyone associating me with any denomination.

6. I have the third worst case of social anxiety I have seen, and the worst case of social anxiety I've seen in anyone my age. I'm working on it...

7. I don't want children. Ever.

Two

8. I want to throat punch people who criticize my fast driving. I've never been pulled over (excluding the time 6 years ago when I was driving my mom's car that had a taillight out), I try to obey all traffic laws, never received a ticket, and have never been involved in a wreck. Everyone who has ever publicly whined about my driving has had multiple tickets, been in a wreck, had to attend driving school, or all three.

9. I'm neither democrat nor republican. Though, I did vote for Mitt Romney in 2012. If you must know, I think all of you extreme conservatives and loud liberals are equally annoying, and you're both a part of the problem. (Hate never solved anything, so please descend off your high horse.)

10. I'm quick to cut people out of my life. If you hurt me, publicly humiliate me, insult my husband or father, you are dead to me. Forever. But, I'll still be nice to you. I'm good like that.

11. I am severely impatient with crazy people. All I have seen are crazy people who ruin other peoples' lives. Ain't nobody got time for that.

12. Sometimes, I think I shop online just so I can receive packages in the mail.

13. The regular sized Zaxby's cups are the bane of my existence.
 Who invented those useless sacks of craps anyway? They're smaller on the bottom so even if you have two, they rock back and forth in my car's cup holders and make a giant sticky mess. Just, no. Why?

Three

14. If I actually have the time and resources, I enjoy going out of way for people.

15. I am the girl who makes eye contact with you even though everyone stopped listening long ago, and your story is so boring, I could play it on my iPhone at night and it would put everyone in the house to sleep.

16. I am a big believer in class which is why I am constantly having to restrain myself from making snarky comments at all times.

17. Sometimes, I am so sarcastic, and my humor is so dry, people actually think I am just stupid. This saddens me.

18. The women in spotlight that inspire me the most (in no particular order) are Stacy LondonDolly Parton, and Amy Poehler. If I could become some sort of spawn of these people, I'm pretty sure I would be the perfect woman.

19. I often complain that Jupiter is my only friend, but truth be had, I have more friends than I ever had before. I'm eternally grateful for the girls that choose to tolerate my chaos and talk be down from irrational decisions. I'm also thankful for my male friends, Micah and Jupey. =^..^=

20. When I find a good thing, I want to share it with the world. So, if we become friends, you will hear all about my juicer, Yes Please, and Rend Collective.

21. I've never had a cigarette in my life, but have crazy nicotine cravings.

One last thing....


22. I don't like dogs.

Stay classy,

Jessie

Jessica Wynn

Thanks for reading! If you liked this post, you're welcome to share it on social media, or email it to your mom. Make sure you tell your cats about me! :)

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